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| funny essays, guy torry, album (music), woody harrelson, robert b. weide, pauline lynch, confess, hip hop, fazed, wake, songs, pachanga, james gandolfini, suzanne shepherd, net comedy, matt dillon, carlito, donna holgate, | She choked. A man tried the heimlich manoeuver, but mother had taken karate, and was so shocked that anonymous a man was trying to feel her up while she choked to death, that she beat him silly. anonymous That man was Meathead McKinley, by the way. That had been his pet fish, Harold, the fish. He wasn't trying to save my mother. He wanted anonymous Harold the fish back, so that he could flush Harold down the toilet, and give him a proper burial. Damn fish! Then my mother was dead. I was alone. There were still two days before the end of the world. My father had died a few days before, in a most bizaare accident. He was hit by a large car, at the same time that a helicopter crashed on top of him, and in that instant a lighting bolt struck him in the top of the skull. |
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| Others, with large bums, have donna holgate said it was just poetic. My mother has claimed that it wasn't poetic at all. She says its more like a large pile of cheese, covered subtly with the bodies of all the babies killed in the second world war. Personally I have no idea donna holgate what my mother is talking about. She once said this. "It is wasn't so bad, then maybe it would be good." Then, suddenly she said this. "Both me and your father are virgins." My mother is donna holgate quite a silly lady, and a virgin to top it all off. But to add the final cherry on the cake, those fish never did like my mother. I found her one day, strangled. Damn those fish. CHAPTER 12 The fish, my mother, and my father. One might ask me how a fish could have strangulated my mother. I would simply reply to them that fish have appendages like anyone else. But the fish that strangled my mother was dead-- but it knew what it was doing! Oh did it know! She was at a restaurant. The dead fish etched itself into her throat with it's death-grip. |
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