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| funny essays, guy torry, album (music), woody harrelson, robert b. weide, pauline lynch, confess, hip hop, fazed, wake, songs, pachanga, james gandolfini, suzanne shepherd, net comedy, matt dillon, carlito, donna holgate, | They still have to deal guinevere with school guinevere bullies, adolescence, zits, dating, sex, and that annoying stage where they think they know everything. I want to kick my own ass for going through that one. I am almost thirty years old now, still dating, and still unsure that I would be able to guide another human being through any of these phases of life, even if I had a wife to help me. Plus, I am getting more and more set in my ways and used to the guinevere luxury of waking up Saturday morning and sitting in front of a blank page for seven hours with a pencil, just to see what I come up with. Sometimes I like to jump on a plane and go somewhere for a few days and relax, and maybe I’ll stay up all night trying to build an autonomous hovercraft out of a loaf of bread and seven nickles. I have worked hard to get where I am, and am still pretty selfish with my time. |
Best Mature Paysites
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| This stuff is awesome to me, and would probably be even cooler if woody harrelson they were my own kids. On the other hand, when the girl (we’ll call her Savannah, because that’s her name) comes up to uncle Pork and says “I have the squirty-toots”, all I can think of is the quickest way to put distance between me and little shitpants. When my nephew Hayden and I are playing airplane and I hear him laughing and squealing, I can lose myself in pseudo-parental bliss and think how neat it will be when I have a little rugrat woody harrelson or two woody harrelson of my own. This comes to a screeching halt immediately after he vomits on my face. Then I call him “devilspawn” and run to steam clean my upper body. After hanging out with them for two days, I will get a cold and/or flu that will last about a week. Drippy diapers and projectile vomiting are relatively short-lived phases in a kid’s life, but you have a minimum of eighteen years of other drama. |
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