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| donal sutherland, welker white, danny boyle, sudanese, riyad, wikipedia, funny, trailers, wallpapers, pictures, fazed, artists, disco, viagrajokes, wordssong lyrics 50 cent that's what's up feat_ g unit guess who's back?, news, suzanne shepherd, listof films, matt dillon, pauline lynch, humor magazine, televison, sean stone, robert carlyle, | The Sneeze Home | Archive | Store | Contact Posted by Steven greenday at greenday 08:01 PM Steve, Don't Eat It! -- 1991 Urkel-Os Years ago, my friend Lisa gave me an autographed box of Urkel-O's cereal. It is signed: "To Steve -- God Bless, Jaleel White." I don't know, greenday but if I were God, I'm not sure I'd listen to Urkel. In fact, I think my Godly response might be something like, "Hey, fuck you, Urkel. Don't tell me who to bless." Incidentally, I'm not the "Steve" it was signed for. Lisa found the box in a collectibles store, but that's okay. I don't mind being a second-hand Steve. I had always been a little creeped out that the cereal was still in the box since 1991. |
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| And somehow these Beggin' Strips also managed to smell just like bacon. Oopsie. pictures Typo. I meant to say "the smoky puke of a thousand maniacs." To put it simply, this is the devil's bacon. Even a healthy dose of bread, mayo, lettuce and tomato couldn't come close to masking the evil. The bitter nastiness literally got worse with every chew, and I was overcome by the urge to go in the backyard and eat grass until it was all out of me. The following is a message to all dogs who read The Sneeze: pictures First, pictures sit. Sit! Good boy. Now listen to me. Beggin' Strips do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT TASTE LIKE BACON. You are all being played for chumps! Alright, now give me your paw. Okay, roll over! Good boy! Now go take a steamy dump in your master's shoe. Go on! Get! In closing, the only silver lining to this dark dark cloud is I have figured out why so many dogs lick their own assholes. They are trying to kill the taste of Beggin' Strips. (By the way, it doesn't work.) (All Steve, Don't Eat It's can be found here.) |
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