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Oh, surprise! Max had them too! After we got everything cleaned up Logan went to bed and I sat by traditional art the light of the christmas tree and drank about 1.5 too many vodka gimlets and also used way more than my fair share of our narcotics stash. The following morning I started my day by picking through my daughter's head looking for bugs to eat because at that point I'd become nothing traditional art but a common monkey. Unfortunately my diet was ruined when I found nits on traditional art her head and then, though I could have been coming off the acid trip from the night before, I saw another of THOSE FUCKING BUGS CRAWLING ACROSS HER MOTHER FUCKING SCALP! Then I wished I might die. But I didn't die. I called the pediatrician and asked what we should do now and she said, "You go to Costco and get yourself a jar of mayonnaise large enough you could dock your jet ski in it. Also, a similarly sized bottle of Makers Mark." I followed Doctor's orders and bought a vat of mayonnaise, even though Logan hates mayonnaise with a fiery passion mostly reserved for republicans.
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