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I feel your pain. Got no kids? I feel your pain, too, because W has 800 smackies coming my way. What are you going to do with yours? My options: 1. Pay off out-of-control lawn gnome bill at Lowe's. 2. Pay 2nd bookie, tell 1st bookie number 2 is holding my cash. 3. Corner Fruit Cove, Florida smack contests market. 4. Begin sex change with butterfly tattoos contests and 18 karat gold connecting nipple string. 5. Buy a homeless man's kidney. 6. Install webcam in showers at local Truckstops of America. 7. Send boss's wife roomful of flowers from Kobe Bryant. 8. Pay attorney for 3 hours' advice while I open that penis extender e-mail. 9. Give Czech housekeeper a "consulting fee". 10. Pay Lileks to skip Bleat for 4 Thursdays. Get off your lazy ass, get your freak on, and send me YOUR Top 10. Posted by Kim Crawford at 06:25 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack A MODEST PROPOSAL Chechnya and Chernobyl share a shitload of letters.
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