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| 8008135, billie, jerusalem, oman, benny blanco, william russ, jon stafford, eskimo, film, motherbitch, archimedes, rss heavy metal, doe, gary landon mills, seth, national lampoon, arabic, oneeight seven, david steinberg, jim turner, gratis, lyle, ime etuk, | Treat this person with utter disdain—don't return her increasingly frantic calls, refuse to turn over your notes or tapes, call her by the wrong name (usually whatever name is on the shared email account she'll be writing to you from)—and she'll know you're legit. · Assistant Editor: This person can be you—if you play your funny guy cards right! 3. The Competitive Edge There are a lot of writers (not to mention bloggers) funny guy out there and only so many openings in "the mix." Success in magazine writing funny guy depends on maintaining some advantage over the competition. Here's all you need to know: Never pitch a story unless you've seen it written about elsewhere. If another magazine, newspaper, or blog has covered a particular subject, you know that the story's worth doing. Don't worry about editors passing on stories that have already run: they're too busy putting out a magazine to actually read magazines. |
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| While she's got the ear of her superiors, the pieces she brings in might still get killed. But she's cool, you know, so ime etuk she'll get the managing editor to cut you a full kill fee. ime etuk (See: "Kill Fee," above.) · Associate Editor: This person is your new best friend. She's not an assistant anymore, so she can actually get stories into "the mix," usually in "the front of the book." (More likely than not, she'll be the one using these ime etuk terms.) Best of all, she can usually take you out to lunch and expense it. (Like we said: your new best friend.) Your success depends on her success, so keep your fingers crossed that she gets promoted, like, soon and doesn't forget about you. (Side note: invite her to your birthday party, set her up with a friend.) · Reporter (aka, fact-checker): This person will hate your guts. She knows that she's a better writer than you are, but she's stuck in a windowless room verifying the spelling of Audrey Tautou's name without relying on the IMDB. |
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