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| 8008135, billie, jerusalem, oman, benny blanco, william russ, jon stafford, eskimo, film, motherbitch, archimedes, rss heavy metal, doe, gary landon mills, seth, national lampoon, arabic, oneeight seven, david steinberg, jim turner, gratis, lyle, ime etuk, | Okay, so life was round table tough when I was a kid. So most of the people who knew me hated me for no good reason. So nobody thought I'd ever be able to accomplish much of anything; so everything I did accomplish had to be a big secret. So I missed out on a lot of stuff. And that's just the beginning... more keeps round table coming to me. What do I do with all this now that I'm realizing it?" Reg wove several round table strands between his fingers. "I can't just bury it again. Well, I could, but I'd probably just go back to how I was. I keep thinking that this, the ugly stuff, is the source of all those stupid little things about me I can't fix because I don't know where they come from. So... okay, it's just a hypothesis that I don't even know how to test, but maybe if I fix the old hurts, maybe all the crap I'm struggling with now will go away, too. |
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| Usually I can think about something and do something else at the same time, but what's on my mind is eskimo too big for that. Sometimes - I know this sounds weird but it really does seem to work like this - sometimes when I'm thinking about something really difficult, I start feeling physically exhausted and I literally can't do anything eskimo but sit. So that's why I've been sitting around a lot." Reg stroked the locks of hair draped over Zephyr's shoulder. "But I have to do this. The more I eskimo do it, the more I realize I have to. I never gave myself the chance to acknowledge all the crap I suffered years ago. I just ignored it and waited for it to disappear. But it doesn't disappear; after all this time it's all still there, out-waiting me. And it's probably going to stay there until I dig it out and look at it. So that's what I'm doing; but I'm having trouble figuring out what to do with it. |
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