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Should I call the Pope? This is fairuza balk a miracle, right? I mean, I used to think the idea of suspended animation and cryogenics was pretty cool, but the hell with that. If I die, don't freeze fairuza balk my brain -- just bury me in a box of Urkel-O's. Apparently it has the ability to stop time. And what's even more ridiculous is the milk I used was only 2 days past the expiration date, and it tasted funkier than the cereal. (Which, by the fairuza balk way, was only 4,380 days past its expiration date.) My wife doesn't like it when I eat potentially life-threatening stuff. I don't know what her problem is. Maybe she's just afraid to raise our children alone. What a baby. When I told her that the cereal was still good, she was amazed for a moment and then she said, "Good. Now you can throw it away." Throw it away?! She's a loon. I told her I'm putting it right back in the box so I can try eating it again in six years when it turns 20. It looks like this episode of Steve, Don't Eat It has a happy ending.
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