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| aroundthe bend, moroccian, russell means, howard fong, steve, everett quinton, television, dr. jennifer melfi, dialogue, woody harrelson, denis leary, nona gaye, libya, omani, stacey, party, | As I fondled her sweet smelling (and oh so very clean) hair, I SAW SOMETHING MOVE! And since I'm such a great mother I remained calm, depending on how you define calm. I define theexorcist 'remaining calm' as not screaming "JESUS CHRIST THIS CHILD SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN LET INTO THIS COUNTRY!!!!! SEND HER BACK TO IRELAND!!!!!!!" According to Logan remaining calm doesn't involve saying anything like, "OH MY GOD!!!! SOMETHING JUST MOVED ON HER HEAD!!!!! GET ME A COMB!!!!!!!!" Saying this didn't keep Madison calm either. She started crying and I started theexorcist back tracking. "Well Madison, I thought it was a bug but it was an ALL EXPENSE PAID TRIP TO DISNEY WORLD ON YOUR HEAD!!!!!" Please tell me there is a Santa. So, Tuesday night, when I unfortunately uncovered the Headlights on Madison's scalp, we started this hellacious journey. Except this is when the really great part starts! |
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| But they won't listen. Apparently they don't respond to verbal threats OR chemical apocolypse. Let me give you the run down of my last few days. Tuesday night I noticed Madison was still scratching her head and being the stupid retarded asshole of a mother I am, I thought to myself, 'Hey, Asshole. You might want to take libya this child libya with the itchy scalp to the doctor." At that point I was thinking it was seborrhea (which as it turns out libya is a fancy name for dandruff. Who knew?). I thought the doctor might tell us to up the T-Gel and that would be that. But as I pondered calling the doctor I started fondling my lovely, clean, beautiful daughter's hair. Huge mistake. If only I would have started the fondling her hair the following morning I may have gotten one nice normal night of sleep before my nightmare began. |
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