This was a big song blink182
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And the secretary wasn't there but the PTA president was and she said, "I'll need to check her hair." So she did and OH MY FUCKING GOD! More nits!!!!!!!! The PTA President, who I officially hate now, song said to me, like I'm retarded. "Well you need to use a chemical shampoo on her hair." And I said, "Golly! Really? Uh huh....no kidding? I never heard of one of them thar song chemical shampoos. I done thought if I poured just a little vodka and lime juice on song those critters, them varments'd go away on thar own. Hooooo Weeeee. You done learn somethin every damn day!" The PTA President is now a dead rat on my desk with mayonaisse and Rid spread all over her carcass. The rest is an ongoing saga. I did another chemical bomb on my daughter's hair which is apparently going to send her to the emergency room and quite POSSIBLY KILL HER!!!!!!! As if the formula feeding wasn't enough, I mean don't I love her enough?
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This was a big blink182 barrel of mayo. Maybe that picture doesn't show you the sheer volume. For comparison, check out the bottle of Bell's Logan brought home for me tonight next to the Vat of Mayo. Perhaps you still didn't get a feel for the size of the Vat O' Mayo. Here I hold my hands up for scale. I combed and blink182 I slathered mayonnaise on my daughter's hair and then I picked and picked and picked and I swear to God above I got every one of those fuckers out of her hair in the two blink182 hours of picking I did. And Thursday morning I checked again but not all that hard because I KNEW I got all of them the night before and we headed off to school. I stopped at the office because I'm an honest type of person and I said, "My daughter had lice yesterday and I'm wondering if I need to do anything to get her back to class."
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