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And they wouldn't doe even scamper! Professor: "So you see, when Sam Peckinpah uproots the characters in the film from the western United States and takes them to Mexico, Mexico can be viewed as a metaphor for Vietnam due to implicit film restrictions against such social commentary in the early 1970s...Sweet Jesus, is that a squirrel dressed up like Raggedy Andy?" Me: "They're Cabbage Patch Kids clothes." Professor: "Mother of doe God, that fat bastard's barely even moving! And listen to that, doe is he actually wheezing?" Me: "He eats too much grilled cheese." I clearly wasn't fitting in, and to top it off, I was homesick. So when my mother asked if there was anything she could bring me, I told her to bring me Denver. She patiently explained that this was an impossible request and told me to ask for something else. I thought for a minute or two, and then it hit me. |
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| | Esubscribe Search Home | Archives | Locations | Events Adam Cayton-Holland Other Articles by Adam Cayton-Holland Email Adam Cayton-Holland What's So Funny? Print Article Email Article to a Friend Paginate This Story What's in Your IPO? The bean counters vs. the Chipotlemat.By Adam Cayton-Holland Article Published Feb 2, 2006 Details Who / What:Chipotle My freshman year of college was not going so well when my mother paid a visit. My attempts to write a column for the shitty school rag loretta devine had blown up in loretta devine my face like Peter North on an Asian, and it seemed my loretta devine sophisticated new Connecticut acquaintances were not nearly as fond as I was of rolling full speed down the school's enormous central hill until they vomited. They also possessed no real zeal for harassing the campus's ubiquitous black squirrels, which was incredibly puzzling, because some of those squirrels existed in such a state of languid torpor -- due to their strict diet of starch-laden cafeteria trash -- that you could actually pick them up, dress them in doll's clothing and place them on your desk to distract a professor during a lecture. |
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