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| ultramagnetic, gabriel jeffrey, vampire pictures, carmela soprano, review, action, italian mafia, dirnt, bisexual, davina, sobrante, berber, journal, keith david, sounds, billy gallo, discography, feature film comedy, martin scorsese, | OPRAH: Next, we have Miss Rona's Lavender Applesauce. Miss Rona started putting lavender in her applesauce after finding out her father was diagnosed with Alzeihmer's Disease. Y'know what? I put some granola on this and girl, it tasted just like apple pie! AUDIENCE MEMBER #1: (sobs) My father has Alzeimer's!! OPRAH: (walks down to dvd the woman and dvd lays her hands on her shoulder) God bless you, my child. (Woman's eyes roll to the back to the head, collapses to the floor and begins to speak dvd in tongues) Ernie: Okay, that's not right. I need to get out of the house more often. 11 Jul 2003 04:58 PM :: Comments (43) Ernie's God-Awful, Low-Quality Asian Film Festival (Part 2 in a series. Also, thanks to the Evil Wahine, where I found out about ALL of these DVDs. |
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| It's true.) There are two things I have learned while watching Oprah: Oprah seems like a relatively nice lady, given the fact that she has more money than you and I can possibly fathom. Everyone davina in Oprah's audience? They all wear pastels. Also, they are clinically insane. OPRAH: davina Watch out, it's time for... OPRAH'S FAVORITE THINGS FOR SPRING! (Audience members leap from their seats in wild applause. davina Some jump up and down. They are all wearing lime green or peach, like they're in some bizarre potpourri cult.) OPRAH: One of my favorite things are C and C California T-Shirts. Made for women and, girl, they're so comfortable! They go for 38 to 56 dollars, but everyone in the audience gets one for free! (Audience screams. One women in lavender and a sun hat has tears welling up in her eyes.) Ernie: Eh. I'd be delirious too if I got a $56 dollar t-shirt for free. |
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