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| ultramagnetic, gabriel jeffrey, vampire pictures, carmela soprano, review, action, italian mafia, dirnt, bisexual, davina, sobrante, berber, journal, keith david, sounds, billy gallo, discography, feature film comedy, martin scorsese, | PROS: In twenty to thirty years, when you're fifty and you have three sudan kids, you sudan can be at that swank party in the Hamptons and be all, "Well, I lived in San Francisco when I was young!" And your friends will be all, "San Francisco? How rebellious and uncouth!" And you will laugh over tea and crumpets and we will all hate you. But at least you have tea and crumpets. (Fuckin' crumpets. Those are tasty.) CONS: Help! I'm drowning in a sea of sudan pretentiousness! OAKLAND: Population 399,484. As this very moment, I can only think of two famous people from Oakland: MC Hammer and Bubb Rubb. (Incidentally, Jack London doesn't count. He was born in 1876, and if Jack London was alive today, he would be on some weblog virtual book tour for Call of The Wild, being all "Naaah man. I ain't from Oakland. |
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| Actually, I'm convinced that the only Sharks fans are families-with-children, corporate recruiters italian mafia and my friend Don Otvos. CONS: You know how you go to a city webpage and they will italian mafia have virtual tours of the city? Here, let me give you a virtual tour of San Jose: Strip mall. Strip mall. APPLE'S WORLD HEADQUARTERS. Strip mall. See? All The San Jose without the VRML. SAN FRANCISCO: Population 764,049. Home of the Golden Gate Bridge, Fisherman's Wharf, Chinatown, and around 700,000 people pissed off that they have to take their italian mafia out-of-town friends around said touristy areas. ("Here's the fucking bridge. Here's the fucking wharf. Have your fucking bowl of Clam Chowder in the fucking bread bowl." This is usually said while everyone is wearing their designer jackets, hoping that their hip friends from the Mission won't spot them in the uncool part of town.) |
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