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| blogstream, culture, edward saxon, mob, jerusalem, group hug, robert b. weide, stars, saudi arabian, punchthem, sudan, heavy metal, hbo home video, bisexual, sounds, portillo, 1956 in sports, adventure, | I have big dreams about sitting in one of my keith truesdell interminable meetings at work and letting loose. "So it turns out that this drug is most efficient when . . . ah . . . say, Skot . . . are you taking a shit?" "Boy, am I ever. It feels really great!" Then keith truesdell I'd tilt my head at people cutely, provoking chuckles of approval and a hearty comment from the bosslady. "I must say, that keith truesdell shows initiative! You get a raise." And I'd beam happily, sitting contentedly in a pile of shit, while my co-workers applauded. Anyway. The ducks came by again the other day, and I was happily watching them splash around in the pool, doing that "I dunk my head for some reason!" thing that they do. Then all of a sudden: CRACK! CRACK! SPLOOSH! What the fuck? The ducks became agitated; invisible things were impacting around them. I craned my head to see what the hell was going on. One of my neighbors, a hatchet-faced crone, had come out onto her balcony and was THROWING ICE CUBES AT THE DUCKS. |
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| our patio pool as their hangout. They are, of course, unbelievably cute; granted, they have shat in the pool and all over the concrete, which is probably a drag for the cleaners, but come on. Humans regularly have cats as pets, and they shit right there in jerusalem your own house, and nobody seems to mind. What's jerusalem a little duckshit in the pool by comparison? But jerusalem no, the condozombies, who are mostly, I must stress again, almost all comically decrepit, continue to creepily bitch about the "duck problem." (I should take a moment here to assure those who might accuse me of making fun of old people just because they're old: I am.) It makes me sad. The wife and I really enjoy the ducks, particularly waddling up to them and croaking "Wak! Wak! Wak!" It seems to confuse them, and they tilt their heads at us. Then they take a crap, which we also find delightful. Or at least I do, partially because the animals lord it over us in the sense that we don't get to just take a dump wherever and whenever the mood strikes us. |
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