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| listof films, bob, scott walker (ix), hip hop, u, yemeni, 1976 in sports, everett quinton, fazed, news, rap metal, single parent, overheardnew york, amazigh, josh richman, middle, jack straw., kirk taylor, emo, popular, thesopranos, ultramagnetic, essay, sean cory, | They are trying to kill the taste of Beggin' Strips. (By the way, it doesn't work.) (All Steve, Don't Eat It's can be found here.) The Sneeze Home | Archive | Store | Contact Posted by Steven at 08:01 PM Steve, Don't Eat It! -- 1991 Urkel-Os Years ago, libyan my friend Lisa gave me an autographed box of Urkel-O's cereal. It is signed: "To Steve -- God Bless, Jaleel White." I don't know, but if I were God, I'm not sure I'd listen to Urkel. In fact, libyan I think my Godly response might be something like, "Hey, fuck you, libyan Urkel. Don't tell me who to bless." Incidentally, I'm not the "Steve" it was signed for. Lisa found the box in a collectibles store, but that's okay. I don't mind being a second-hand Steve. I had always been a little creeped out that the cereal was still in the box since 1991. But the Urkel-Os are now 14 years old, and I am no longer creeped out. |
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| (Just like my aunts and uncles.) And somehow these Beggin' Strips sean cory also managed to smell just like bacon. Oopsie. Typo. I meant to say "the smoky puke of a thousand maniacs." To put it simply, this is the devil's bacon. Even a healthy dose of bread, mayo, lettuce and tomato couldn't come close to masking the sean cory evil. The bitter nastiness literally got worse with every chew, and I sean cory was overcome by the urge to go in the backyard and eat grass until it was all out of me. The following is a message to all dogs who read The Sneeze: First, sit. Sit! Good boy. Now listen to me. Beggin' Strips do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT TASTE LIKE BACON. You are all being played for chumps! Alright, now give me your paw. Okay, roll over! Good boy! Now go take a steamy dump in your master's shoe. Go on! Get! In closing, the only silver lining to this dark dark cloud is I have figured out why so many dogs lick their own assholes. |
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