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| 1979 in sports, cinema, puff daddy, paul haggis, stars, discography, amsterdam, skins, wtmotherf, middle aged persons, images, ben shenkman, personals, alternative hip hop, cameron, dato bakhtadze, scott walker (ix), prose, | It's true.) There are two things I have learned news while news watching Oprah: Oprah seems like a relatively nice lady, given the fact that she has more money than you and I can possibly fathom. Everyone in Oprah's audience? They all wear pastels. Also, they are clinically insane. OPRAH: Watch out, it's time for... OPRAH'S FAVORITE THINGS FOR SPRING! (Audience members leap from their seats in wild applause. Some jump up and down. They are all wearing lime green or peach, like they're in some bizarre potpourri cult.) OPRAH: One news of my favorite things are C and C California T-Shirts. Made for women and, girl, they're so comfortable! They go for 38 to 56 dollars, but everyone in the audience gets one for free! (Audience screams. One women in lavender and a sun hat has tears welling up in her eyes.) Ernie: Eh. I'd be delirious too if I got a $56 dollar t-shirt for free. OPRAH: Next, we have Miss Rona's Lavender Applesauce. Miss Rona started putting lavender in her applesauce after finding out her father was diagnosed with Alzeihmer's Disease. |
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| My bitch of a wife just left me and... ERNIE: ... cameron *sigh*. I don't have any money. RICARDO: ... cameron ERNIE: Listen, I gotta go. Screaming skitzophrenic man: This man, who is screaming outside the window at this very moment, is the reason why I am posting this entry. He rides on his bicycle and screams obsenities at the top of his lungs. When the police is called, cameron he gets quiet, and then when the police leave, he screams again. It's impossible to sleep with the window open or without earplugs. He screams at the people in the drive-thru window at the restaurant next door. He screams at taxi. He screams at other homeless people, where I witnessed a guy pick up the dudes bicycle, and then a newsstand, and throw it into the street, litter and newspaper and bike parts scattered on a street like a fucked-up tickertape parade. He reminds me of my parents fighting when I was ten. Maybe dad is right. Maybe I do need to live in the suburbs again. 18 Jul 2003 03:16 AM :: Comments (24) oprah and the bizarre potpourri cult (Fun fact: when you don't have a job and you sit around the house all day, you sort of run out of wacky things in your life to write about. |
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