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1979 in sports, cinema, puff daddy, paul haggis, stars, discography, amsterdam, skins, wtmotherf, middle aged persons, images, ben shenkman, personals, alternative hip hop, cameron, dato bakhtadze, scott walker (ix), prose, | "DOGSHIT!" he screams in Chinese. He doesn't say anymore but you can tell what he wants to say in his eyes; "how dare you, how dare you insult yourself by saying you will be a street person when I have worked my body until it ached, how dare you insult me because I have provided and pushed and prodded and lectured and demanded ime etuk the good life for my children and this is what I get in return?" And this is ime etuk how my flashback ends. ime etuk I can't recall what I do from here, whether I run to my room upstairs and slam the door sobbing or where it's later in life, where I stare at a spot of the table and disassociate myself from the world at a drop of a hat, a talent I can still master to this day. I simply don't remember. |
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My sister is thirty-six left ear years old, mentally ill, socially incompetent even with the heavy doses of medication she ingests daily. (Don't ask what happens when she doesn't.) "Yes. I talked with Larry today." Larry is left ear either a homeless man, the owner of Peet's Coffee, or her boyfriend. In her mind, a combination of all of the above, most likely. "You should find a job," says my father. He doesn't look up from his bowl of rice. "Yes," chirps my mother. She's frantically running around in the kitchen, washing dishes or adding corn starch to soy left ear sauce to add to chicken or wiping off the tables, anything to avoid a conversation. "You can work at MaiDangLao!" McDonalds, my mother said. We all throw dirty looks at her and she continues washing dishes. "I'm NEVER going to work there. I wanna be a street person!" She says "I wanna be a street person" the way a five year old boy declares that he wants to be an astronaut, and I look down and I zone out and swallow big gulps of rice because I know exactly what's going to happen. |
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