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| hilarious, fiona bell, jason, funk metal, r. lee ermey, hard rock feeds, jordanian, morocco, commerciale, ultramagnetic, gabriel jeffrey, vampire pictures, carmela soprano, review, action, italian mafia, dirnt, bisexual, davina, sobrante, berber, | Forgetting that goodfellas(two disc special edition) my mother had already had two children, he decided she needed a little “widening”, and proceeded to cut through her vagina at the precise moment my premature little head popped out, conveniently slicing my entire head open in the process. I bear the scar to this day. And people goodfellas(two disc special edition) wonder why I’m weird. After that I wouldn’t eat much. Well, would you? So they kept me in hospital for quite a while. It goodfellas(two disc special edition) was probably the happiest period of my life. The rest was pretty much downhill all the way. There’s something romantic about having a drunken Irish father. The McCourt brothers have made a fucking fortune out of it. Hurrah for them. Less romantic is the drunken Irish mother, but I’m sure I can make some money out of her eventually. “You and me against the world. Sometimes it feels like you and me against the world.” “Hey Delta Dawn, what’s that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by?” |
Best Mature Paysites
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| It’s not like I need more shit to ensure I am treated like the genetic freak I am, all my life. We are a precocious family. My parents actually disliked each other even funk metal before they married. They only had sex three times. Once in 1961 after they were married, and twice years later during a period of Belgian funk metal marriage guidance. I am the product of the final coupling. My mother’s Belgian obstetrician tried to kill me twice. When mum funk metal was pregnant with me her placenta began to disintegrate and she became rather ill. The doctor told her she must have an abortion or she would die during labour, and anyway, due to lack of oxygen and nutrients, I was just going to be a brain-damaged malformed lump, so it wouldn’t be much of a loss. Feel free to insert your own hilarious punchlines there. My mother was extremely Catholic and decided to risk her own death for this sure-to-be brain-damaged malformed lump. How fortunate for me. Not content with his earlier efforts, the doctor, who was a little drunk when he delivered me, having been summoned unexpectedly from the annual Belgian obstetricians ball, tried to kill me again, this time more directly. |
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