Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, herbie ade pirates

beverly d'angelo, blogging, denver art, loser, kevyn major howard, white, art, pirates, autechre, elliott gould, song, dato bakhtadze, ken garito, adventure, And the way I see it, ladies, you owe me for ONE JELLY DOUGHNUT! NOW, GET DOWN ON YOUR FACES! [rest of herbie ade recruits get in front-leaning-rest position, Hartman turns to Pyle] Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Open your mouth! [shoves jelly doughnut into PYLE's mouth] Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: They're payin' for it; YOU eat it! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle! Private Gomer Pyle: Private Pyle reporting as ordered, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle, Private Joker is your new squad leader, and you herbie ade WILL bunk with him! He'll teach you everything; he'll teach you how to pee! Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, aye aye, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Joker, he's silly and he's ignorant, but he's got guts and guts is enough. Now you two ladies carry on! Private Gomer Pyle, Private Joker: Sir, aye aye, sir! [Hartman is calling off assignments to the newly christened Marines] Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Joker! Private Joker: Sir, yes, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Forty-two twelve, basic military journalism.
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Private Gomer Pyle: pirates Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: pirates Because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Pyle! Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Then why did you try to sneak a jelly doughnut in your foot locker, Private Pyle? Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, because I was hungry, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Because you were hungry... [turns and addresses rest of platoon] Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle has dishonored himself and dishonored his platoon. I have tried to help Private Pyle. I have failed. I have failed because YOU pirates have not given Private Pyle the proper motivation! So, from now on, whenever Private Pyle fucks up, I will not punish him! I will punish all of YOU!
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