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· Features Editor: This person is too high up to talk to you, so don't bother pitching him. If you do pitch him, he'll probably nimrod reply via Blackberry while nimrod the publicist he's lunching with goes to the bathroom for the fourth time that hour. He might actually like your idea, but more often than not, he will forget you pitched it and won't assign it. · Editor-at-Large: This person is never in the office and, nimrod more likely than not, is drunk. Often he's located in some exotic locale—or at home, sleeping in—yet he's still working at the magazine because he saved the editor's life a few years ago. Don't ever pitch him. · Senior Editor: This person will still take your calls and she might even assign you a story if she likes your idea. While she's got the ear of her superiors, the pieces she brings in might still get killed.
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