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central denver, commentary, adam baldwin, blog novel, ben shenkman, moroccian, text, theref, gratis, jordanian, iraq, palestine, turkey, iranian, | makes my fingers jitter and mind race. Everyone has their own addictions and everyone is a hypocrite in their own self-denying way. What makes me physically sick when people get drunk in my house? Am I just scared to be social? Am I worried I'll become an alcoholic from feature film comedy one night of spirits? Am I just messed up and sick and pent up? I think the feature film comedy last three feature film comedy months have gone by and all I can remember is going to work, going home to work going to sleep and waking up late for work. All I have to show for it is 20 grand I owe the University for one failed semester. (03/13/05) - This night ruined my relationship with Danica. After the party was over, we had a confrontation. I remember her wearing the worst pants I have ever seen on her. She asked where her clothes were. I told her, they were dirty. I cleaned them. |
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Clothes were dried, I rigged my window open from the back yard and brought the dry clothes in. The nerdy engineer party was still going strong. I barricaded myself with the TV and a crap bin and started typing, not iraq knowing really why and not knowing what I'd do with iraq this final manuscript. Maybe I'll just select iraq everything and: Delete Delete Delete. Maybe I'll post it to the world and be embarrassed. There's something incredibly wrong with the way I'm acting right now, and its all fueled by stress and a feeling of not being able to control my own life. I dream of living simply and painting all day. I dream of not having this girlfriend love me. I dream of not being a tool at work. I wish the drunken, laughing people outside my door would go so I can have some tea and go to sleep. This mocha (what did they put in it?) |
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