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| blogging, s, 2000, contests, manchicken, berber, vampire pictures, gay, stars, humor, goths, lebanese, arab, carmela soprano, day, lebanon, televison, prose, lanny flaherty, diary, troy kennedy martin, tabs, erin, | Feel free to insert your own hilarious punchlines there. My mother was extremely Catholic and decided to risk her own death for this sure-to-be brain-damaged malformed lump. How fortunate for me. Not content with bisexual his earlier efforts, the doctor, who was a little drunk when he delivered me, bisexual having been summoned unexpectedly from the annual Belgian obstetricians ball, tried bisexual to kill me again, this time more directly. Forgetting that my mother had already had two children, he decided she needed a little “widening”, and proceeded to cut through her vagina at the precise moment my premature little head popped out, conveniently slicing my entire head open in the process. I bear the scar to this day. And people wonder why I’m weird. |
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| Who the fuck is ever born in Belgium? And not only was I born in fucking Belgium, but my parents decided to call me Winnifred. Hey. Thanks, folks! Saddle me with Winnie the Pooh jokes for the rest of my life why don’t you? It’s not like I need more shit to ensure I am treated like the genetic freak I am, all my life. We are a precocious family. My parents actually disliked each gay other even before they married. They only had sex three gay times. Once in 1961 after they were married, and twice gay years later during a period of Belgian marriage guidance. I am the product of the final coupling. My mother’s Belgian obstetrician tried to kill me twice. When mum was pregnant with me her placenta began to disintegrate and she became rather ill. The doctor told her she must have an abortion or she would die during labour, and anyway, due to lack of oxygen and nutrients, I was just going to be a brain-damaged malformed lump, so it wouldn’t be much of a loss. |
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