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| me, arabic, jon stafford, edward norton, comedy video, robert smith, comedian, goldlyrics, petitionspot create a free online petition online petitions official, ubersitenews humor jokes music movies sports, | I could've told you that. Zach: Yeah? Why didn't you? Barney: You want satire it to take, you got to figure it out for yourself. Zach: Okay, wise guy, what's my satire problem? Barney: You're scared like the rest of us. You drink too much, you chase girls much too much, and you don't use your God-given talent anymore. Zach: You've known that all along? Barney: I'm a good bartender. [after getting stopped by a cop satire for speeding] Traffic Judge: The arresting officer states that you were clocked at 134 miles an hour. Anything to say about that, Mr. Hutton? Zach: I was in a hurry, Your Honor. Traffic Judge: Me too. Five hundred dollars or 30 days. Zach: I'm in a lot of trouble, Doctor. Frankly, I don't have the strength or the courage to go on like this, and even if I did, I wouldn't want to. Everyday, I get a little more depressed. I get a little more desperate. |
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| [Zach's drunk in a bar] Lonnie Jones: You know what your problem is, Zach? Zach: Yep. Lonnie Jones: You comedy video drink too much. Zach: Yep. Lonnie Jones: Your probably an alcoholic. Zach: Yep. But that's not my problem. You know what my problem is? I'm an addict. Lonnie Jones: Drugs? Zach: Nope. Merry-go-rounds. Lonnie comedy video Jones: You wanna go home with me, Zach? Zach: Yep. Lonnie Jones: Let's go. Zach: Can't. Lonnie Jones: Why not? Zach: I'm just a kid. Lonnie Jones: You're sweet. Zach: comedy video That too. Lonnie Jones: Give me a call if you change your mind. Zach: I will give you a call even if I don't change my mind, okay? Zach: I figured it out, Barney. You can't cure a problem until you know what's causing the problem. But before you can see what's causing the problem, you first have to remove the problem. Barney: You've gotta give up the vices to get to the virtues. |
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