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| gigglechick, woody harrelson, sudanese, feste, outback steak house, erin go bragh, denis leary, estrogen, richard bright, action, puff daddy, sluginterview, atmosphere one on one, west suburbs, adam lefevre, musica, media, directors, band buddy icons, bi, sweet, female comedianne, | Is this a midlife crisis? I'm not anything. Not working. Writing crap people don't want to read. Not in Antarctica dying of exposure. Not fucking blonde bimbos when my wife isn't looking. Maybe I should start robbing banks. Why the fuck can't you tell relationship me why my stuff is not good? What's wrong with me that I can't write bad enough to be bad and not good enough relationship to be good? What's with all this fucking 'not'?" She says, "Are you relationship done?" Folds her arms and stares at me. "No. I wanna fuck or I wanna do something that can get me killed. Maybe drag racing. Winter mountain climbing in Alaska." "Go home and fuck your wife," she says. "You're a good writer. Stop acting like a baby." I pull down my sunglasses and flutter my eyelashes. |
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| Doesn't that sound like a great idea? I'm thinking, female comedianne hmmm, yes. Yes. Great idea. Whadda ya say? We go wreck our entire lives on one hormone-enraged act of supreme stupidity and then you don't have to explain what the fuck you mean that my book seems to be female comedianne good but written by a guy who doesn't want to be an artist. It makes about the same amount of sense." "You're nuts," she says. "Yes, I am nuts," I assure her. "I went to Ant-fucking-arctica. I got a fucking book contract. I'm a fucking silicon valley electronics company executive, not a novelist explorer. Or maybe I'm an adventurer. Maybe I'm a latent adulterer. Kat, goddamn it. I don't know what the fuck I am anymore. What I am is defined by what I'm not, rather than what I can do and it's killing me. |
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