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| gabriel jeffrey, art director, *nsync, kuwait, beer, erin bennett, léon, greenday, denver art, funny links, roll, eskimo, weblog, gotham, autechre, restaurant, | I loved art and philosophy, both alcohol of which have limited vocational value. And architecture is a field that artistic types like myself are often pressured to pursue as a compromise, as a more lucrative and secure alternative to what we really love, an approved alternative to who we really are. I have an artist nephew alcohol who damn near alcohol killed himself trying to get through an architecture education. He was studying structural engineering, differential equations, civil engineering, and so on, when what he really wanted to do was to paint pictures, expressing his wild imagination (the power of which, ironically, is dramatically enhanced with psychedelic compounds, which is why creatives often use them)! He has been miserably addicted to Prozac and is now pursuing a career in industrial design because he just could not design practical bridges! |
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| I was buckling under the denver art pressure to succeed, the lack of permission to just be myself. I was indirectly given the message that I was denver art not okay if I did not achieve some kind of greatness (with material success). It seemed that love came in proportion to how thoroughly I sold my soul for the wrong sort of success that is valued in our society. I also read subversive books, played denver art violent video games, listened to heavy metal, and had smoked pot and eaten magic mushrooms. Had I killed myself, these would have been blamed, there can be no doubt. But these had nothing to with my nearness to suicide. It was the pressure to succeed that was doing me in. The message was being pounded into me (mostly by the school teachers) that if I did not perform flawlessly and nail a prestigious career, that I would be a FAILURE. And I did not share their love of social approval and wanted nothing to do with the great career jobs in medicine, law, business, engineering, architecture, and so on. |
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