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As well as being a ted demme cruddy 1970s lounge singer, ted demme Helen Reddy was the one who alerted me to the fact that my mother might be a little odd. There would be ted demme evenings, starting when I was about seven, when my mother would crush me to her meagre bosom in the green leather swing chair in the living room. For hours she’d play The Best Of Helen Reddy over and over and over again, while swigging from a glass of wine and telling me my father slept with prostitutes. I didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about, but I knew even then that I hated Helen Reddy an awful lot. My school years passed by in a bewildering blur of pain, embarrassment and nuns, underwritten by an ever-present fear of my evil drunken mother. She wasn’t violent but she was vicious in the way only a brilliant drunk can be. And, looking back, more than a little mad. Even that wouldn’t have been so bad if she didn’t have this terrible habit of passing out everywhere in her nightgown, legs spread, pubes peeking cheekily from her neglected grey knickers, as if to find someone, anyone, who could just love them.
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