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sauce, moviedatabase, bi, song, 1978 in sports, poetry, curbyour enthusiasm the complete fourth season, paul haggis, americanhistory x, troy kennedy martin, animalhouse, lesbian, paul sorvino, stacey, blogging, wikipedia, bill gates, generation terrorists, warner home video, harrumph, arabic, feste, wordssong lyrics 2pac they tryna murder me unknown, online art, I sit up straight and study Clemmy like the good little student I am, head extended on the long white neck that is one u of my better features, like a snapping turtle out of its shell. u The evocative smell of old expensive flannel soaked in guzzled-then-sweated-out Scotch wafts across the table to reassure me. Clemmy is the same as always, I decide. Big and handsome u and sexy and elegantly decrepit, his red face enhanced with a couple dozen more broken veins, maybe, a substantive number of wrinkles accrued around the eyes, but after all it's been a week since I've seen him at least. And the eyes themselves are still good, clear and China blue in spite of all the abuse they get in sleazy joints like this one. And those cheekbones! Real quality stuff. You can't buy cheekbones like that, not on your salary. But a girl can only do this for just so long: I mean, pay attention to somebody else. And these shiny mirrored walls in the Bar Car don't help. That's the name of the dive we're currently in, our favorite New York bar actually, full of easy women and hard drugs.
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But I'm not thinking about Walter now. It's Clemmy who's got my full paul haggis attention. He looks so mournful, poor sweet baby: like a basset hound at a paul haggis wake. He looks so disappointed--it's one of his best emotions--that paul haggis I almost regret holding out on him, because I really do like Clemmy. More accurately, I love him, but don't ever tell him I said that or we won't be having any more of these cute little lunches. Love from me is the last thing Clemmy wants, or thinks he wants, or is willing to admit to wanting. I can't tell which is true and doubt Clemmy can either, but in any case we don't talk about love anymore, ever. Not in relation to each other. I start figuring the odds on what Clemmy said, on the drecky Sixties phrase he managed to dredge from the shallows of his so- called consciousness turning out to be actually true. That's why they call them truisms, right?
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