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| punchthem, writing, my, carmela soprano, howard fong, new jersey, gay, name, herbie ade, 1979 in sports, eminemlyrics, anything, palestinian, bryan gordon, autechre, tommylasorda, | I'm shaking. My hands and my feet and william fichtner my lips and my chest. Shaking. For any number of reasons. Mother and Brother move next to me and they take my hands and they hold them and they can feel what is happening to me. We look at the floor and we don't speak. We william fichtner wait and we hold hands and we breathe and we think. My Father finishes with the woman and he turns around and he stands in front of us. He looks happy william fichtner and the woman is on the phone. He kneels down. They're gonna check you in now. All right. You're gonna be fine. This is a good place. The best place. That's what I hear. You ready? I guess so. We stand and we move towards a small Room where a man sits behind a desk with a computer. |
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| We pull into the Parking Lot and park the car and I finish a bottle and we get out and we start walking towards the Entrance of the Clinic. Me and my Brother and my Mother and my Father. My entire Family. Going to the Clinic. I stop and they stop with me. I stare at the Buildings. Low and long and connected. Functional. Simple. Menacing. I want to run or die or get fucked-up. I want to palestinian be blind and dumb and have no heart. I want to crawl in a hole and never come palestinian out. I want to wipe my existence straight off the map. Straight off the fucking map. I take a deep breath. Let's go. We enter a small waiting Room. A woman sits behind a desk reading a fashion magazine. She looks up. May I help you? My Father steps forward and speaks with her as Mother and Brother and I find chairs and sit in them. |
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