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| punchthem, writing, my, carmela soprano, howard fong, new jersey, gay, name, herbie ade, 1979 in sports, eminemlyrics, anything, palestinian, bryan gordon, autechre, tommylasorda, | I drink and I smoke and I think about her and at a certain point blackness comes and my memory fails me. Back in the car with a headache and bad breath. We're heading North and West to Minnesota. My Father ubersitenews humor jokes music movies sports made some calls and got me into a Clinic and I ubersitenews humor jokes music movies sports don't have any other options, so I agree to spend some time there and for now I'm fine with it. It's ubersitenews humor jokes music movies sports getting colder. My face has gotten worse and it is hideously swollen. I have trouble speaking, eating, drinking, smoking. I have yet to look in a mirror. We stop in Minneapolis to see my older Brother. He moved there after getting divorced and he knows how to get to the Clinic. He sits with me in the backseat and he holds my hand and it helps because I'm scared. |
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| They are up drinking coffee and talking anything but when I come in they stop. Hi. Mom starts crying again and she looks away. Dad looks at me. Feeling better? No. You should get some sleep. I'm gonna. Good. I look at my Mom. She can't look back. I breathe. I just. I look away. I just, you know. I look away. I can't look at them. I just wanted to say thanks. For picking me up. Dad smiles. He takes my Mother by the hand and they stand and they come over anything to me and they anything give me a hug. I don't like it when they touch me so I pull away. Goodnight. Goodnight, James. We love you. I turn and I leave their Room and I close their door and I go to the Kitchen. I look through the cabinets and I find an unopened gallon bottle of whiskey. The first sip brings my stomach back up, but after that it's all right. I go to my Room and I drink and I smoke some cigarettes and I think about her. |
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