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There is something quite terrible about seeing your mother’s pubic hair. It must be even more terrible seeing someone else’s mother’s public hair, so I didn’t have many friends staying the night. Also, pubes or no edward furlong pubes, the risk of being awakened by my mother beating them edward furlong with a towel while shrieking like a banshee at 5am, tended to put most of my friends off the domestic experience chez Eurotrash. On my 21st birthday she fell edward furlong over leaving a Greek restaurant and passed out, which rather amused my friends, and of course, caused me agonies of mortification. This was Hampstead, for God’s sake. One’s parents might be coke-snorting rock stars or actors, but to be a mere drunk was somehow so bourgeois. If you want to know where my father was, well, I’m not entirely sure. Either he was indeed off sleeping with prostitutes or he was off selling bits of oil rigs in Norway. Either way, he was off. I’m ashamed to admit I had my own petty little form of revenge when I was a teenager.
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