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He will not return your calls because he's really, really busy. Besides, he's busy handling the stuff you don't care tommylasorda about: scheduling, budget, liaising with the art department, consoling emotionally distraught staffers. Plus, he's super busy. · Features Editor: This person is too high up to talk to you, so don't bother pitching tommylasorda him. If you do pitch him, he'll probably reply via Blackberry while the publicist he's lunching with goes to the bathroom for the fourth time that hour. He might tommylasorda actually like your idea, but more often than not, he will forget you pitched it and won't assign it. · Editor-at-Large: This person is never in the office and, more likely than not, is drunk. Often he's located in some exotic locale—or at home, sleeping in—yet he's still working at the magazine because he saved the editor's life a few years ago. Don't ever pitch him. · Senior Editor: This person will still take your calls and she might even assign you a story if she likes your idea.
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