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If every penis was named Ralph, this would cause confusion for the fetishist looking to larry david say the words, "Ralph, fire off the 10cc batallions whenever you larry david want. It's Miller larry david time!" shortly before the 1-2 teaspoons made the inevitable 28mph pilgrimage from vas deferens to the inner sanctum of a well-oiled throat. With the name Ralph, the penis afficianado would expect a certain conformity in look and approach. For men who simply cannot get their sausages to rise beyond two inches (a fact withheld from locker rooms and handled with discretion with a lover, often with a signed affadavit, lest this unmanly revelation be disseminated into the world), they would consider the name Ralph to be a sobriquet that discomforts further. It's nice to be reminded that Judy Blume had the wherewithal to name penises. But what she DIDN'T do in "Forever" is consider how such a name would affect a short penised man's self-esteem, already running on empty for at least 25 years before discovering the mighty mantra "It ain't how big it is!
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