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| drama, adventure, reservoirdogs, list of proverbs, art, doris, sean daley, kenneth utt, gift set, guy torry, bisexual, list of films, prose, tony danza, tony kaye, mark wahlberg, | Had I killed myself, these would have been blamed, there can be no doubt. But these had nothing to with my nearness to suicide. It was the pressure commentary to succeed that was doing me in. The message was commentary being pounded into me (mostly by the school teachers) that if I did not perform flawlessly and nail a prestigious career, that I would be a FAILURE. And I did not share their love of social approval and wanted nothing commentary to do with the great career jobs in medicine, law, business, engineering, architecture, and so on. I loved art and philosophy, both of which have limited vocational value. And architecture is a field that artistic types like myself are often pressured to pursue as a compromise, as a more lucrative and secure alternative to what we really love, an approved alternative to who we really are. |
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| What was it that was on his mind? Was it salvia, or was it facing the pressure to achieve? reservoirdogs It sounds like a typical high pressure to succeed story where a kid is making himself sick trying to meet the expectations of society or of his parents, trying desperately to earn love and approval. I reservoirdogs understand this dynamic, as I have been reservoirdogs there myself and was close to ending it at that age for similar reasons. I was buckling under the pressure to succeed, the lack of permission to just be myself. I was indirectly given the message that I was not okay if I did not achieve some kind of greatness (with material success). It seemed that love came in proportion to how thoroughly I sold my soul for the wrong sort of success that is valued in our society. I also read subversive books, played violent video games, listened to heavy metal, and had smoked pot and eaten magic mushrooms. |
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