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| jim turner, jackie hoffman, relationship, hollywood, natalie portman, wordssong lyrics ja rule i'll f___ u girl (skit) unknown, alexander, 8008135, kevyn major howard, penn, slap them, power, | The other week listof films I got a videotape from the anime company I script for. I had put the tape in my VCR and it listof films had unraveled. I was going to bring it back to the studio the next day to see if we could salvage it, so I put it on a shelf. When I got home from work, the listof films tape had been knocked off the shelf (which was about three feet in the air), and the tape had been eaten. The cat ate the videotape. The tape was still covered in cat spit. And then, just so I wasn't confused as to who did the munching, three days later Cal puked videotape on my bra. Lovely. Yesterday Cal knocked a bowl of chocolate from the kitchen counter onto the floor. We now have chocolate stains in the dining room. Deposit? What deposit? Like I'm ever seeing that money again. Cal likes to hang out inside the bathtub. Unfortunately, he stays in there so long he gets lost, and doesn't know how he got in or how to get out. |
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| He gives the best hugs. He knows how to order a bottle of wine. He has never teased me about slap them Billy Blanks(TM) beating me up. He and my mother might arm wrestle one day for World's Biggest Pamie Fan. I'm not sure who's going to win, although you should probably put your money on my mom, since she's sneaky. He's brave. He's brilliant. slap them He's going to do everything he wants slap them in life. He is loved. He has a wonderful family. He's going to be a very good-looking older man. He respects me. He wants me to succeed maybe even more than I want to. He looks out for me. And no matter what, he's still my hero. (There you go, E. How's that?) I don't know what I did, but Cal does not like me at all. This goes well-past the butt-biting thing he likes to do when I walk by. Last night Cal tried to kill me. He tried to suck my breath. He put his face up to my nose and tried to put his head in my mouth and suck my breath. Luckily, I woke up in time. Cal is trying to ruin my life. |
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