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| stupid, thesopranos, 1956 in sports, maria pitillo, disco, collateral, william fichtner, cds, wordssong lyrics 2pac they tryna murder me unknown, iraq, suburbia, ron gabriel, | "I watch BET. I tape Moesha. I've got it worked out. Y'all best check yoself," I caution, "fo' y'all wreck yoself." "Jay, that isn't a fair representation of black people any more than any other show on MTV. Would you say you're like Rancid, just because they're white?" "Which one?" I ask, silently hoping she'll say the drummer applications with the nose ring who's easy on the applications eyes. "Any of them, Jay. The point is it's all fiction. It's just smoke and mirrors." She applications clutches my lapels, I suspect because of my strong sexual magnetism. "It's. Not. Real." I'm obviously driving her wild with desire. "Forget it. God, you're such a retard, Jay." "I told you. Don't call me Jay. My name is Youngblood Priest." I hand her my new business card for handy reference. |
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| I wouldn't expect you to understand. I do cds my best to make the new guy feel welcome. I cds refuse to oppress his black sensibilities with white welcomes. "Hi, motherfucker," I'll yell from across the hall. "How's my motherfucking nigga, fucking motherfuck?" I'll ask, while pounding on my chest with one hand and making a series of complex gestures with the other. To make sure I'm up to date with his language, I make it a point to listen to all the new Jay-Z albums, so I can talk as he talks. cds Think as he thinks. Feel as he feels. Motherfuck as he motherfucks. Jump up on him suddenly and spray him in malt liquor, then pelt his retreating back with chicken wings. "Jay, I think you've gotten the wrong impression of black people," says Alice the black secretary. "Jamal wanted me to have a talk with you before he files a formal complaint." "Nonsense, bitch," I dismiss, carefully laying out cardboard from Jamal's study to the break room, should he feel the need to breakdance on his way to get coffee. |
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