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| beverly d'angelo, blogging, denver art, loser, kevyn major howard, white, art, pirates, autechre, elliott gould, song, dato bakhtadze, ken garito, adventure, weblog, | In my brain lions gate I've got a picture of her naked with a chapter of my book in her hand, glasses on, reading aloud while I'm over her making babies that will never come because I've been neutered by some Air Force surgeon with a sharp lions gate knife. "What's wrong with me?" I say. "You're freaking yourself out. Look, work harder at your writing. Read something once in a while. Try to tell stories instead of flipping metaphors around like you don't have to do anything but give people analogies. People lions gate want to know what's happening, not how you feel about the landscape." "My book is already sold. It's going to be printed," I say, knowing she doesn't have a book contract and wants one bad--(ly). "It will have to be fixed. |
Best Mature Paysites
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| I'm not anything. Not kevyn major howard working. Writing crap people don't want to read. Not in Antarctica dying of exposure. Not fucking blonde bimbos when kevyn major howard my wife isn't looking. Maybe I should start robbing banks. Why kevyn major howard the fuck can't you tell me why my stuff is not good? What's wrong with me that I can't write bad enough to be bad and not good enough to be good? What's with all this fucking 'not'?" She says, "Are you done?" Folds her arms and stares at me. "No. I wanna fuck or I wanna do something that can get me killed. Maybe drag racing. Winter mountain climbing in Alaska." "Go home and fuck your wife," she says. "You're a good writer. Stop acting like a baby." I pull down my sunglasses and flutter my eyelashes. "You sure you can resist me?" And truth is, I wouldn't know what to do if she said she'd go with me, but everything inside is hurting way too much for me to act like I don't care anymore. |
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