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"MOTHERFUCKERS!" yelled the driver. "MOTHERFUCKING COCK FUCKING SONS OF MOTHERFUCKING BITCHES!" There were six cops in the van with me, dressed in full black uniform and combat boots. There were ubersitenews humor jokes music movies sports various firearms and body armor piled on the floor, left over from the WTO summit the week before. The driver, whose name turned out to be Elmer, looked uncannily like Timothy McVeigh's kid brother. He did not look ubersitenews humor jokes music movies sports like he had seen a great deal ubersitenews humor jokes music movies sports of his twenties. A definite Type A personality, however. "SONS OF FUCKING BITCH-ASS GODDAMNED COCK SUCKING GOAT FUCKERS!", he elaborated. We were still heading the wrong direction, and whoever had designed the Warsaw highway system had not apparently heard of the U-Turn. I marvelled at the Polish system of signaling to drivers to make way, which was to wave a kind of giant plastic red lollipop out the window, moving it in complex patterns to convey instructions to the driver about which way to veer to avoid the careening cop car.
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