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| blabbermouth, theref, gift set, mp3 discoteche, dvd, edie mcclurg, online art, jonny lee miller, dreams, salt lake city, list of people by name, palestine, derek, gary landon mills, oliver stone, turkey, mos def, ron gabriel, blogging, gothic, beverly d'angelo, adam baldwin, | This mocha (what did they put in it?) makes my fingers jitter and mind strange news race. Everyone has their own addictions and everyone is a hypocrite in their own self-denying way. What makes me physically sick when people get drunk in my house? Am I just scared to be social? Am I worried I'll become an alcoholic from one night of spirits? Am I just messed up and sick and pent up? I strange news think the last three months have gone by and all I can remember is going to work, going home to work going to sleep and waking strange news up late for work. All I have to show for it is 20 grand I owe the University for one failed semester. (03/13/05) - This night ruined my relationship with Danica. |
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| He always said he'd give the money back, told waitresses he'd hire them to be a personal servant at his yet unsigned 9.3 million dollar house, I mean this guy was like those comic book adam baldwin super villains. Clothes were dried, I rigged my window open from the back yard and brought the dry adam baldwin clothes adam baldwin in. The nerdy engineer party was still going strong. I barricaded myself with the TV and a crap bin and started typing, not knowing really why and not knowing what I'd do with this final manuscript. Maybe I'll just select everything and: Delete Delete Delete. Maybe I'll post it to the world and be embarrassed. There's something incredibly wrong with the way I'm acting right now, and its all fueled by stress and a feeling of not being able to control my own life. I dream of living simply and painting all day. I dream of not having this girlfriend love me. I dream of not being a tool at work. I wish the drunken, laughing people outside my door would go so I can have some tea and go to sleep. |
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