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| photos, children, judy davis, up, wordssong lyrics 2pac never b peace better dayz, kieron jecchinis, 1976, wordssong lyrics 50 cent that's what's up guess who's back?, action / adventure, moviedatabase, song, craigs list, keith david, 1976 in sports, wordssong lyrics mannie fresh pussy power unknown, s, armenian, edie falco, joe, 1977 in sports, | We are a precocious family. My bill gates parents actually disliked each other even before they married. They only had sex three times. Once in 1961 after they were married, and twice years later during a period of Belgian marriage guidance. I am the product of the final coupling. My mother’s Belgian obstetrician tried to kill me twice. When mum was pregnant with me her placenta began to disintegrate and she bill gates became rather ill. The doctor told her she must have an abortion or she would die during labour, and anyway, due to lack of oxygen and nutrients, I was just going to be a brain-damaged malformed lump, so it wouldn’t be much of a loss. Feel free to insert your own hilarious punchlines there. |
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| How s could I have been anything but, though? I come from a long line of miserable mad cunts from the bastard shores of hell. I am the result of my genes. s One of my ancestors was killed when a boat fell on s him. Another was shot by two of his own uncles after what was reputed to be his finest performance ever at the local music hall. I think he sang “I’ll Take You Home Again, Kathleen”. But he didn’t because he was dead. The rest of my forebears drank themselves to death or ended up in prison. There was never any hope for me. I was born in Belgium for starters. Who the fuck is ever born in Belgium? And not only was I born in fucking Belgium, but my parents decided to call me Winnifred. Hey. Thanks, folks! Saddle me with Winnie the Pooh jokes for the rest of my life why don’t you? It’s not like I need more shit to ensure I am treated like the genetic freak I am, all my life. |
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