What makes me physically underground indie

yemen, slap them, 1956 in sports, adventure, banco de gaia, george w bush, indie, punchthem, denver art, christopher carley, foundart, arabian, album (music), prince charles, comedies & family ent., writing, and the space between black and white., guzman, donna holgate, gary gilbert, movies, band buddy icons, I kept smashing it. The door. underground Not underground Danica. Never fucking hit someone. She was not pleased and felt in danger. She locked her door and I spent the entire night crying out loud. The neighbors heard, that's for sure. I made a drawing of a bosquet of flowers and hung it underground on the door to hide the damage I had done. One of the worst nights of my life. This night - this relationship - this part of me seems so distant to who I am now (3/13/05). Almost as if it's only a faint memory of a movie I once saw. Things are for the better for me now. I do paint all day and am happy. But, it's still strange.
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What makes me physically sick when people get drunk in my house? Am I just scared to be social? Am I worried I'll become an alcoholic from one night of spirits? Am I just messed up and sick and pent up? I think the last three months have gone by and all I can remember is going to work, going home to work going to sleep and indie waking up late for work. All I have to show for it is 20 grand I owe the University for one indie failed semester. (03/13/05) - This night indie ruined my relationship with Danica. After the party was over, we had a confrontation. I remember her wearing the worst pants I have ever seen on her. She asked where her clothes were. I told her, they were dirty. I cleaned them. Things are fuzzy after that. We fought. Badly. I realized how much she meant to me, but it was too late. I remember. I remember how I destroyed her bedroom door with my elbow.
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