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| george c. wolfe, overheardnew york, lancelot, saudi arabian, wav, transexual, quotes, sounds, feste, jerusalem, jean smart, merlin, stars, zines, | Does that sound good to culture you?" Reg smoothed those strands into the rest of the mass of hair and slid his hand down toward the roots at the nape of Zephyr's neck. "I guess I need a goal. I should decide who I want to be, and then identify the factors that prevent me from becoming that way, and address them. Yeah, I'll go about culture this very scientifically - effect, cause, repair. I'll pretend I'm a machine with a few broken parts, and then I only have to determine what's supposed to perform what function and repair it. I can do this. I've done difficult things before. Hell, I've done difficult things all my life... things no one in a million years would guess I could do. Like all those home repairs I made when I was a teenager. |
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| So that's what I'm doing; but I'm having trouble figuring out what to do with it. Okay, so life was tough when I was a kid. So wav most of the people who knew me hated me for no good reason. So nobody thought I'd wav ever be able to accomplish much of anything; so everything wav I did accomplish had to be a big secret. So I missed out on a lot of stuff. And that's just the beginning... more keeps coming to me. What do I do with all this now that I'm realizing it?" Reg wove several strands between his fingers. "I can't just bury it again. Well, I could, but I'd probably just go back to how I was. I keep thinking that this, the ugly stuff, is the source of all those stupid little things about me I can't fix because I don't know where they come from. So... okay, it's just a hypothesis that I don't even know how to test, but maybe if I fix the old hurts, maybe all the crap I'm struggling with now will go away, too. |
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