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The photographer pointed at one of them. "What is THAT?" "It's jade! Or plastic, maybe. Got it from a market in Moscow for 20 roubles." He raised sexy hot mature his eyebrow at Gareth, "Big spender, aren't ya buddy?" Next we were introduced to the Reverend who'd be sexy hot mature doing the officals. She was all cute and round like Dawn French in the Vicar of Dibley. "So it's Shauna and.. Gar-eth?" She pronounced his name like it rhymed with "caress", with added lisp. "Gareth!" "Shauna and Gary, okay. Now Gary you come sexy hot mature with me down the aisle and we'll shut the doors so the bride can make her dramatic entrance. I'll say a few words, then we do the vows, and then you'll be married!" It was so surreal. Even as the Bridal March cranking up, I couldn't comprehend that this was our wedding. I just stared at the cheesy photos on the wall muttering, "Heh heh heh."
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