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Like I did just there. See, list of films my whole career list of films is a brilliant metacommentary on the solipsism and narcissism of my entire TV-addled, celebrity-obsessed generation. Get it? Also, my squinty quasi-smile would make Ghandi want to punch me in the face. Certain primitive cultures (like, oh, Red states) believe that the camera steals one's soul. Well, just looking at my picture steals a little bit of your soul. Go ahead, give it a try. Seriously, people, list of films gaze upon my visage. I must drink of your souls to survive. But enough about me. Just kidding! It's never enough about me. That's the whole gag. Hey, guess what? I just wrote an awesome LA Times column about how I don't support the troops because I don't support the war. I hope the troops come home safely and everything, but I think the troop stuff they're doing is wrong, because war is wrong, and also bad.
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