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My gran won't sit next to me boyfriend at family events any more." (dan j) * "My friend teaches Judo to young kids. During a drunken night out, someone got hold of his phone and did the usual thing of sending boyfriend sexually explicit messages, this time to his girlfriend. Except his girlfriend was in his phone as 'Babe', not 'Emma'. Emma was a 12 year old from his Judo class. Next morning he had to phone Emma's parents and explain that their 12 year old daughter may boyfriend have received a text message saying her judo teacher wanted to shag her up the ass." (dr-kill) * "After a major system crash and several hours running round swearing, Boss sticks his head round the door and says, 'Do us a favour - send an on-screen message to all users to let 'em know the computer's no longer fucked.'
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