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(Example: "Ever since 9/11, increasing numbers of consumers have sought sweatbands...") Plus, 9/11 theref lends theref a soupçon of gravitas to any article you may be writing. 7. Lingua Franca Throwing foreign-ish terms like 'soupçon' and 'gravitas' into your piece will not only make you sound smarter, it will help educate your readers who will feel superior to their friends after looking up your fancy terms and sprinkling them into their conversations. 8. Sources While you're more than capable of articulating the point of your own article, you'll need sources to theref flesh it out and bring it some real world frisson. (See, "Lingua Franca," above.) Some good sources include: friends, former lovers, your brother or sister, your college roommate, and yourself. If you don't want to embarrass your source, just employ an asterisk and state that, "Names and identifying details have been changed."
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