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This is just the little shit that we who live with HIV are faced with on a regular basis. I feel pretty healthy f. gary gray on most days; and I stay too busy to get all tangled up in f. gary gray my mind as I am now. Then the next little sore pops up or my stomach turns upside-down for no apparent reason and the mind-fuck starts all over again. One more time I am face to face with the Reaper wondering f. gary gray how long I will manage to keep ducking his scythe. Knowing that one day I will not duck fast enough -- that I am going to die -- is a sobering thought. AIDS may not be the blade that penetrates my armor, but some blade will get through. I am 36 years old. I am not supposed to think this kind of shit. I am supposed to be worried that my hair will fall out in the next five years. I should be going into debt to buy a Porsche in the hope of impressing a good-looking man 15 years younger than me. |
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