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Women seem to want both--an ambitious, successful Rockefeller at work and a relaxed, empathic Dr. Spock at home. Men are saying to women, "if you like the drive, intellect, and toughness that gets me promoted and a Mercedes, why do your expect people me to be completely different as a dinner partner? You can't have both!" The truth is people maybe you can have both, but the point is: some (not many) men feel as dehumanized when they are judged by their job or income or car as women feel when they are judged by their weight or breasts people or clothes. If a male alone is expected to provide well for a family, he will ordinarily have little time to relax and enjoy home life, little time to get to know his own children. Men need freedom too--freedom from all the financial responsibility for the family, freedom from the demand that they be a "real men and not cry or be sissies," freedom from the urge to compete and prove their superiority in every interaction, freedom to be equally involved with child care, freedom to have intimate friendships, freedom from being held responsible for the female's sexual satisfaction, freedom from having their personal worth being based almost entirely on their success at work,
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