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He died one afternoon in that fucking armchair. About right. I went around to see him, you know, when he was plotted up at me mother's. blogging Mark: Hatcham Road? Ray: Yeah, Hatcham Road. He was upstairs in that front bedroom. Laid out. Mark: Free. Ray: Yeah. Yeah. I've gone up there, gone in. blogging I'm sitting on the bed looking at him. He's laying there like... Mullered. And it was like he'd shrunk, you know? He was a blogging big man. Mark: He was a lump. Ray: Yeah. You should know. You got enough clumps off the cunt. (sighs) And I just touched him, you know? He was fucking freezing cold. It frightened the life out of me. I was looking at him, you know? For the first time in my life, I talked to him. I said, "Why didn't you ever love me?" |
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| I said to my mum, "Mum, what's that say? You know, that sign above Daddy's head." All right? She said, "Nil by mouth." "What's that, a football score?" One-nil, three-nil, two-nil, a geezer called fucking Nil. Yeah. I david mckenna said, "Well, what's it mean?" She said, "It means..." Mark: It means nothing to eat. david mckenna Ray: Yeah, nothing down the... [points into his mouth] Mark: Nothing down the... Yeah. david mckenna Ray: Yeah, all right. I remembered that day, because I could've put that on his fucking tombstone, you know? Because I don't remember one kiss, you know, one cuddle. Nothing. I mean, plenty went down, not a lot came out, you know, nothing that was any fucking good. And I'd look at this man that I call Dad, you know? My father, I knew him as Dad. He was my fucking dad but he weren't like other kids' dads, you know? It was as if the word itself were enough, and it ain't. Mark: That ain't when he died though, is it? Ray: No. He lived another ten years, slippery old cunt. |
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