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| archive, foto, danny, beverly d'angelo, plans, gift set, artists, community, iraqi, fairuza balk, | I want a baby, too." "Like this? You're worth more than that. He's a hollow man. With enough intelligence to have an inkling of that fact. And he hates you for being what he doris is not." "You're too hard," I say, "I love him. doris I love him." I'm crying again. I want her to hold me and I want to slap her. I don't know what I want. "I'm never going to get pregnant," I know, now that I've said it out loud, that this is probably true. "Maybe not," she says, "maybe not. But you doris don't have to get pregnant to be a mother." "Humphrey wants his own flesh and blood." "Yes," she says, and she sounds kinder, wiser, than she ever did in life, "I was the same way. But your heart is bigger than that, baby." "Will he leave me? Will he leave me for that woman?" "That man is never going to leave you. |
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| I still have it, tucked away somewhere in a box in the storage shed at home. The sky is on fire. Is it really so fairuza balk late? The fairuza balk cicadas begin to sing. "Is he in love with her?" I ask. "Leonie," she says. She doesn't say more. "It's because fairuza balk she can give him a baby," I whimper. "Don't whine. It is very unbecoming," she says. I wish I could see her face because I swear if she was here in the flesh I would slap her. Who is she to talk about what is becoming? It wasn't becoming of her to fuck Jasper so loudly that the neighbors had to complain about all the shrieking, either. "I'm sorry," she says, "I just don't think he's worthy of you. And that isn't why. You know, deep down inside, that isn't the reason." "This isn't the first time," I say, "and this isn't the first woman." "No." "You act like I am nothing more than a baby making machine to him. But that's not true. |
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